The passage of time can be an incredible thing. It allows for lessons learned, memories made, and that 1-1 time spent with others. Stepping away from things around here was a really healthy dose of reality for me, and I am going to get REALLY REAL for a minute.
Just a quick game of catchup for you before I dive in:
+ I spent a good number of hours (well..technically years) of studying and several honestly failed attempts, I stat for my licensing exam (again). This is an extremely important milestone in my field, and allows for me to take next steps in my career, or even start my own design firm. Being licensed tells others that I am informed in making design decisions that improve the life, safety, and wellbeing of building occupants (so much more than “picking fabrics and paint colors”). Then I waited for 12 weeks…
+ Brad turned the big 3-0!! we made a vow to take an exciting trip to the Grand Canyon during this incredble year, and celebrated with surprises and close friends. We also finished Parks and Rec and it changed our lives for the better!
+ in december we found out that I passed my exams, and with both tears of joy and celebration, I was able to complete this major milestone thanks to the hiatus, and Brad’s incredible support!
+ just before christmas, my family visited us in richmond and we had an incredible time celebrating the incredible season. a few days later, Brad did this incredible thing that changed our lives for the very best: HE ASKED ME TO MARRY HIM! You guys! I am getting married!!! …sorry this one is at the very end, I was hoping to build the suspense a bit!! We were able to share the news with our families at christmas, and shared it publicly on new years day. we are so incredibly thankful for all of the love and support that we received!
+ i turned 28, spent some time dabbling in the minimalism process, pairing down my closet, junk drawers, and really thinking long and hard about the hobbies I love and enjoy vs. what was really stressing me out. I got all introspective and I think that is where the reality doses came in.
NOW FOR MY BIT OF THE REAL REAL:
As a blogger, influencer, designer, stylista, boss babe, or any other title we give ourselves… we have this crazy responsibility to be genuine and to create buzz about products, trends, brands, etc…While I was away, I had this serious realization: as I watched all of my friends and comment pods, and instagram groups, and fb communities skyrocket as I stood still, I was washed with waves of guilt and jealousy. I forgot for a moment that blogging was a CHOICE. That I could take it at whatever pace I set for myself. That I, too, could get invites to all of those press events, releases, NYFW, but would I be stretched too thin?? Would I be able to invest in my loved ones and family the same if I was pressed for bookings and running around looking for likes and follows?
I sometimes have to remind myself that this is my SIDE hustle, that my full time job gives me the fuel that no other hobby can ever provide. These are the two different sides to my coin. And during my hiatus, I wasn’t stressing out at midnight because my codes weren’t working, or pressing to get home while the sun was still up to snap some photos to put up for the next day. I was able to really invest in my relationships, friendships, and myself instead of pouring into content around here. I was able to truly relax.
I found myself the other night at the deepest depths of this jealousy, as all of these other influencers in town were invited to an event i was sure I should have been invited to, and I was home. All the while, Brad was pulling off some serious acts of kindness around valentines day, and I was sitting around, deeply jealous of this situation, and too engulfed in that feeling to enjoy the night that I could have been having with him. I felt so shallow and upset with how I have let my title as a blogger dictate my decisions, my feelings, and how I view the world. We have got to change this! How can we choose to better portray our lives that doesn’t cultivate this culture?
So my vow to you, moving forward, is that I will blog at my own pace. I will blog only about the things I love, I will be genuine, I will opt to not bombard you with shoppable links at every turn, or with “mail day” videos bragging about the swag I came home to. I will not create a toxic and unrealistic perspective of what my life looks like. I will shoot when I have the time, I will share what I love and I will do better to make genuine content, reach out personally, and not give a damn about what other people are doing.
this is me, this is my space, and this is the new petiteMODERN.
xoxo, jordan taylor